“My daughter Hattie was born with kidney disease in 1997. My wife had been hospitalised with preeclampsia a couple of weeks before she was born and during a routine scan, the medical team discovered that Hattie had a kidney problem. They could not provide a detailed diagnosis without further tests and for the health of both mum and baby, my wife had an emergency cesarean at 33 weeks.

 The first time I saw Hattie the day after the birth, she was separated from mum having a blood test. She was so tiny. The doctor was taking blood from the back of her hand and she was clearly in pain and distressed. It broke my heart and that was the first of many heartbreaking moments on this long journey of ours. The diagnosis came within a day or so. Hattie had severe kidney failure and was very, very unwell.

 The local hospital, as good as it was, could not provide the specialist renal care that Hattie needed and a transfer was arranged to Guys in London. My wife was not well enough to leave the hospital and the doctors were so concerned with Hattie’s condition, she was advised to “say goodbye” as we prepared for the transfer by ambulance.

 The weeks that followed were a blur, sharing my time between hospitals and trying to understand what was happening to my daughter and my wife. Eventually my wife was transferred to Guys so we could all be in one place. On different floors but in one building. Over the weeks that followed, my wife improved enough that she could spend time with Hattie in the ICU. Hattie was so small and fragile, and everything seemed so raw and painful. After 6 weeks Hattie’s condition had stabilised enough for us to leave Guys.

 The team at Guys had saved her life and she was stable for now. She needed a kidney transplant as soon as she gained enough weight. 10kg was the target. That would be achieved easily within a year for a healthy girl. For Hattie, it would take a lot longer. We just had to keep her going.

 Armed with boxes of medication, the skills to insert nasogastric tubes and give injections with hypodermic needles that looked far too large for her tiny arms, we took the long journey home.

 I remember the exact spot on the journey home where the chaos of the past two months and the demands of processing overwhelming amounts of information briefly quietened down. I had one thought that overtook everything else, I will do whatever I have to, to help Hattie get better and donating a kidney will be part of that journey. It was never a question of donating; it was just a question of timing.

 It took Hattie nearly two and a half years to get to 10kg. That was a long and bumpy road but we got there. The team at Guys explained how the donor scheme worked and the likely timeline. They explained the priority given to children and the advantage of saving my kidney until she needed her next transplant when she was older. Another reality check, she would need a number of transplants throughout her life. That was a tough moment.

 We went on the transplant register and after only a few months, we got the call, “we have a kidney, it’s a good match and you need to get to Guys as quickly as possible”. It was as exciting as it was scary. The transplant was a success. Her kidney function went from less than 5% to normal overnight. We had been given the gift of life for our precious daughter from a grieving family who had lost a loved one. Every aspect of that is hard to comprehend. Overwhelming relief and joy and bewildered awe at the kindness from complete strangers. It’s impossible to describe quite how valuable that brave decision has been to our family. We were, and still are so grateful. 

 After 3 weeks in hospital and a further 8 weeks where we stayed near the hospital and took Hattie in every day, we came home with a different set of medicines and a different child. That kidney, that gift of life, lasted for 22 years and saw our daughter grow from a toddler to a young lady in her early twenties.

 As we had been warned, the kidney started to decline as Hattie was starting university. The rate of decline increased rapidly over the next year or so and I was tested to see if I was a good enough match to donate a kidney. I had never doubted it, but it was a relief to find out I was a good match. Very soon after that, the work up began. I had a series of medical tests to ensure I was healthy, my kidneys were healthy, and one could be extracted easily. The final part of the process was an interview to ensure I fully understood what I was doing and check that I really wanted to go ahead. I did and had done for 22 years.

 We were expecting the transplant to happen quite quickly. Hattie would be put on dialysis for a few weeks to boost her strength now that her kidney was failing. The few weeks turned into two and a half years, as we battled through Covid and through Hattie’s rapidly declining health. Four transplant dates came and went as each was cancelled for a variety of reasons beyond our control. Finally, the day came. Hattie was already in the care of Southmead hospital when I went in on the morning of the transplant. My operation was performed in the morning and Hattie’s in the afternoon. Both successful and for Hattie, life changing. My stay in hospital was brief, within 3 days I was out and recovering at home. Hattie stayed longer as her body recovered from the operation.

 My recovery was rapid. After a week or so I was able to get around the house pretty well and I even went for a short, very slow walk in a local park. Within a month I felt almost back to normal and after 2 months I slowly started back at work. Four years on, I’m as fit as I’ve ever been, my small scars have long since healed and there is nothing I can’t do that I did before the operation. It’s difficult to imagine that I have only one kidney. For me, I’ve lost nothing. For Hattie, she has gained everything. An almost miraculous gift of life.

 I had never doubted my resolve to give Hattie one of my kidneys. I’m so grateful I could. For me the process was straightforward and in the grand scheme of things, it was a small but wonderful detour in my life. My life is richer for the experience and the rewards have been immense. I’m so grateful to the NHS renal teams who have been part of our journey. Their compassion, skill and commitment have quite literally been lifesaving.

 Having been through this experience and seen the rewards of kidney donation, I cannot say loudly enough how much I admire anyone who steps forward to help others in this way.”